My country 'tis of thee

I sat on the back of my roommate's motorbike in the evening Saigon traffic as we headed home from a cafe.

"This is a happy place for positive thoughts," my roommate, Jeanne, said. I laughed. Today had not been a good day - for me, my country, or the world.

I woke up to election results pouring in over websites and live streams from thousands of miles away. My entire morning at work was consumed with my coworkers - Vietnamese, Australian, and German, with one fellow American - and I constantly checking CNN, ABC News, CBS News, FiveThirtyEight, the New York Times, and any other reputable sources for updates. It all felt like a nightmare, or some twisted alternate universe. This couldn't be true. The numbers couldn't be real.

As the New York Times prediction ticked more toward Donald Trump's impending victory, I cried. At 22 years old, I sat at my desk and cried. I cried because I truly believe that Hillary Clinton would have been a phenomenal president. I cried because I know that it's about damn time we have a woman in the Oval Office. I cried because I remember sitting in the voting booth in the primaries and feeling so prideful to cast my ballot for her, and feeling the same as I sent in my absentee ballot at the U.S. Consulate in Saigon just a few weeks ago. I cried because of the terrifying effects a Trump presidency will have on me and so many people I love. And, I cried because of what this means about my country - that it is one nation that is so divided and polarized.

Jeanne, who is French, urged me to be positive. "What are you grateful for? Come on, Molly. There are things," she said.

I laughed again, but this time took Jeanne's question more seriously. She hit on an important point that is so easy to lose sight of - despite the anger, fear, and frustration I feel, this election does not define my life. Trump doesn't control me, nor does he own me and my experiences.

I have a meaningful job. I have a loving family. I have wonderful, supportive friends around the world. I'm living abroad, which affords me countless opportunities to experience new cultures and travel. I'm college educated and come from a middle class background. Once I started listing things I was grateful for, it was difficult to stop.

I am lucky - more so than many Americans - and I know that. As we all grapple with the implications of the next four years, let's not forget to count our blessings. Once you take inventory of what makes your own life so special, find out how you can make a difference. Rally together. Don't be apathetic. Organize. Fight for the rights of marginalized groups - African Americans, Latinos, Muslims, Asian Americans, LGBTQ, immigrants, women, those with special needs, and children. Fight for real action on climate change. Fight for creating an economy that works for all Americans. Fight to preserve the progress that President Barack Hussein Obama has achieved over the past eight years. This is not the time to jump ship.

We also need to come together as a nation and heal. We need to understand what has cut such a deep divide between those who identify as red and those who identify as blue. And, we need to fix it.

Much of my family has been in America since the Revolutionary War or even earlier. My roots run deep in these United States. This nation is my heritage and it's my home. But, I am no more American than an immigrant or someone who is second-generation born. That's the beauty of the United States of America - and it's a beauty that I hope will be realized to its full potential, despite the havoc Trump and his allies seek to wreak.

Jeanne knew I was having a rough day. So she got a me a small gift and wrote me a note:

Ne laissons pas la peur entrer dans nos coeur - Liberte, egalite, fraternite // Do not let fear enter our hearts - Liberty, equality, brotherhood

Trump may be president elect, but his fear tactics don't work on me. Living abroad has made me realize how much I love my country and how determined I am to fight until the very end to make sure that anyone - no matter his or her race, background, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or otherwise - can live safely and prosper in the United States of America.

My heart hurts because I'm 9,000 miles from home and all I want is to be standing with my fellow citizens. But, I have not and will not let the fear in.